Chris and I have been together next month for 8 years. I cannot believe it’s been 8 years. Today we celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary. I can’t say it’s all been easy and a walk in the park. It’s been my hardest relationship ever, but I know it’s for the right reasons and because he is the one I am supposed to be with and want to be with. I feel that in our 8 years, we have both learned from each other and we have both grown so much. I can definitely see a difference in this relationship which started at 32 and my first marriage where our relationship started when I was 17. When I met Chris, I was so much more secure in who I was and what was important in my life. I wasn’t growing up through our relationship, well I definitely was but in a very different way than at 17.
One of my most important lessons in this relationship was with alcohol. Realizing that it did not serve me and quitting drinking. Chris has quit at the end of November 2016 and I didn’t quit until the end of February 2017. I did not drink at home, so I didn’t think it was a problem. But I did drink on vacation shortly after he quit. I made an ass of myself, in front of him and the kids with us and the public. But I didn’t see a problem still. I think I spent all night puking in our hotel room from what he told me. I never drank at home, just wasn’t my thing unless we had people over. I did drink when I would go out, so in February of 2017 I decided to go to his family beach home with a bunch of girls and drink and get wasted all weekend. And drive home (there is a previous post about that for more). I got a DUI on my way home and I learned, I acknowledged how irresponsible I was with alcohol and I quit drinking. Honestly if that hadn’t of happened and I didn’t remove it in my life, I can’t say we would be married today. I fully believe it would not be possible. I am glad I don’t drink, I am happy I don’t and that we both don’t and it’s totally okay. I have truly seen how it takes two to be sober and happy living alcohol free.
We were married 8/26/17. It looked like an amazing day from pictures and video, my TBI took away most of my memories of it. Before we got married I did sign a prenup. I have heard a lot of conflict from others with prenups. I had no problem signing one, I don’t believe I deserve anything that he had prior to our relationship and vice versus. So no big deal. Plus I have been divorced before, so a prenup to me just makes it so much easier if anything ever did happen and it protects my husband and myself. This also protects him from like my student loan debt I had prior to ever even knowing him and any retirement he had prior to building a life with me. I have a right to things we build together and gain together and even with a prenup, I still have that.
10 months into our marriage, still newlyweds, I suffered a life changing accident and brain injury. I am lucky to be here, I am so lucky to have my amazing husband by my side. He has been the most amazing and supportive man and person in my life, my brain injury didn’t just change my life, it also changed his and it’s hard and he is still 150% here and all for it. True dedication and definition of an amazing, loving husband for better or worst. Not to mention before my brain Injury I broke my back and when he was my boyfriend, he gave me enemas due to having peristalsis. That’s dedication and love and we had only been together for 2 years at that point.
I know this one will work because we both give so much to each other, we constantly communicate good and bad, we both try so hard to be understanding. It’s not perfect, but it’s pretty dam good and I have seen us both make a ton of mistakes and fix them and come out on top. We have both given up so much for each other, for our marriage. I couldn’t be more proud of my husband, the one that most his friends said this relationship was a mistake and many left his life for having a relationship with me. It was not a mistake, it’s been the best, hardest, real relationship and nothing comes easy and that’s okay, we have built a ton of respect and resilience in our relationship.
If you care to see our wedding video, check it out on You Tube, link below. I am SO thankful we had one done as my memory of that day was really wiped from my brain Injury so it’s very special to me to have this. Highly recommend it for anyone, you never know what will happen in life.