Something on my mind is how people respond to me and others, this goes beyond brain injury and I know I am guilty of doing it too.
So often it’s easy to listen to someone and be able to say I understand, I have been there, me too, I know what it’s like because I broke my back, I had a concussion, I have been divorced too. I now am realizing how that’s not helpful to the person going through whatever they are going through.
But in reality that’s not what I am looking for, it’s not what most people are. I just want to be heard, listened too and not talked to about the “me too”. Especially when it is nowhere near my situation so I can understand people want to relate and feel that by saying me too, I had a brain injury or concussion too that they think it’s helpful but to me it’s not. Instead it flips the conversation to about them. Not everyone, but for so many. Not to mention, you just cannot compare one situation or person’s experience to another’s. Validate their feelings, listen, be empathetic, have a conversation but you don’t need to make it about you to do that. I understand that often people feel it’s helpful to relate and needed, but that isn’t always the case.
Sometimes you just want to be heard and have someone to talk to and not have the conversation turn all about them. You hope to have someone acknowledge your feelings and struggles, say I’m sorry you feel that way , I hear you, I am here for you, what can I do to help you and be there for you, I see you, I see all your hard work.
I was listening to the Trailercast podcast and April who was on it was explaining how this happened in her life with her own cancer, her sons possible cancer and then how her mom made it about her. Episode 138 Conversation with April. So good.
It’s something I deal with often and it’s hard. Living with a severe brain injury is hard enough, and this just makes it harder.
Just something to think about.