It makes me think of expectations that people have. Like people saying “well you haven’t called” or “you haven’t invited me over” as a reason why they don’t call or keep in contact.
It makes me think of how so many people that we were pretty good friends with are no longer in our life and the above has been said to me.
I feel there is such a lack of understanding. Understanding of brain injury. Each brain injury is individual too.
But you can always reach out and ask a question. For the first 9 months I woke up daily to a new day, with no memory of the day before. And my memory is so bad I forget normal daily things daily. I forget what I just talked about with my husband regularly. But I still make it a point to try to reach out and be a good friend, I set reminders, I put alerts in my phone calendar to remind me of important dates and things.
I look fine so “I’m fine” I am sure in their eyes.
I have also had comments made that I did not call someone. Mind you I have a permanent, severe brain injury and have severe memory issues, and I still find myself being the one to reach out to people otherwise I won’t hear from them.
Even people I reach out to don’t respond. And these are people I considered good friends.
So check on your friends with brain injury. It’s lonely. There is nothing like feeling SO alone and having people legit just make you feel like you fell off the face of the earth.
One of the many things that has showed us who are friends are. I hope if you know someone who has a TBI or other brain injury you will do your own research to see the many things someone deals with and how you can support them.
It’s crucial to someone and their well being and it is not their job to keep the friendship going. It’s a lot of work when you have issues with memory and more. Be a decent human and friend.
Last week I had lunch and hang out time with a friend who was my moto buddy turned good friend. She was there the day my accident happened. It was so nice to have lunch and chat. It had been a long time but she still communicated and text with me every now and again and we finally met up, she has had a lot going on and doesn’t live local so I get it. But it goes to show it didn’t matter, she’s been there through text at least and took the time to spend the day with me. It felt great.
I also have a friend I had not connected with, one who hadn’t returned texts for over a month. And she is a close friend and been there through so much of this. But I also understand everyone right now is dealing with so much with Covid, so I texted her and told her how I felt and then we had a great call. So sometimes it does take effort for those who matter and to speak up and not assume.